Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
