I hate all girls vehemently.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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