Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
