I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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