she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
