Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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