its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
