So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
