OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
