That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
