i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
