I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
