you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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