i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
