i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
