this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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