some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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