I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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