so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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