i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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