There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
