took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
