this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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