There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
