i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
