so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
