sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
