Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
