Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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