So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
