after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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