My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
