Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
this will be a night to untag.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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