Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
