Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
