i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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