I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I touched a dick in church today
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
