I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
handjob tips. give me some.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
