So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
