Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
