omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize