someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
