but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
