So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
