i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
