wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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