I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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