I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
