is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
