I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
